All Your Base Are Belong To Us: The Kip Lange Homepage

Obama's VP choice is Joe Biden

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 11:24:00 +0000

Well, this was breaking as early as around 10 P.M. last night, but it wasn't confirmed, so I held off on any speculation, but here we have it...

The interminably long-winded and boring Joseph Biden has been picked by the Obamarama Experience as his running mate. Those of you who were on the super-special "text message list" got the news at 3:06 AM this morning.

I'll have plenty of time to talk about this, but one thing always pops into my mind with Joe Biden: plagiarism. He was caught in one of the worst political plagiarism scandals ever. Without even much attempt to change anything, Biden pulled a speech by a British politician named Neal Kinnock and claimed it as his own.

It wasn't his first, and it wasn't his last, instance of plagiarism.

Anyway, for more on that, go to:

http://www.famousplagiarists.com/politics.htm#biden

Pretty much sums it up.

Other than that...well, obviously Biden has been picked because of his foreign policy "experience", to lend gravitas to the Obama ticket on that level.

Let the endless dissecting and analyzing begin...

Madden '09 lands...and keeps freezing and crashing on me

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 00:56:00 +0000

Well, Madden '09 is here, and I'm...sort of...pleased with it.

It's at 60 FPS on the PS3 (finally), Madden is back in it (a little), it has an adaptive "Madden IQ" system to rank your play (which sort of works), it has Collinsworth as the color man and a neat little "Backtrack" feature where Collinsworth will highlight things and show you key moves...

However, it keeps freezing up and crashing on me on the playcalling screen. Two out of three games, it did this to me. It sticks on the playcalling screen, but I can hear the play being run on the field.

This happening to anyone else?

By the way, sorry my posts have been spotty. I've been...er...busy...

Georgia on my mind...

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 23:05:00 +0000

Bad, bad, BAD Russia! Bad Putin!

So you're upset the USSR no longer exists. Get over it.

Not a lot of options here, really. We could force Russia to veto a vote condemning them. Peacekeeping troops wouldn't do a hell of a lot.

Although, folks, you really ought to be paying attention to this.

Isaac Hayes, RIP

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 23:11:00 +0000

They're dropping like flies!

Rest in peace, Chef.

Bernie Mac, RIP

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 14:11:00 +0000

Bernie Mac died today at age 50. As of right now, I haven't heard any confirmation on cause of death, although he was recovering from pneumonia.

That's way too young.

And it's just plain sad.

Or is Angelina a closet conservative as well?

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 22:14:00 +0000

Consider this little piece...
But it appears Pitt has yet to sway Jolie to move over and surrender with the Obama plan. In fact, earlier she admitted that when discussing politics with staunch Hollywood Republican Clint Eastwood there was no reason
for Obama or any other Democrat to count on her vote.

Jon Voight pisses off Angelina some more

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 22:04:00 +0000

Midnight Cowboy star Jon Voight wrote a scathing op-ed piece blasting Barack Obama in the Washington Times which is not likely to get him any closer to seeing his grandchildren any time soon (ouch, Angie, baby, daddy's a conservative!).

Mr. Voight ends with:

This is a perilous time, and more than ever, the world needs a united and strong America. If, God forbid, we live to see Mr. Obama president, we will live through a socialist era that America has not seen before, and our country will be weakened in every way.

Castles don't have phones, asshole

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 19:44:00 +0000

Ah. I've been looking for one of these. A must-have for any Rocky Horror Picture Show and something you virgins might want to read up on before going to see it the first time.

It's the Unofficial Rocky Horror Picture Show Participation Guide.

Note: regarding props, most theaters, including the one in Harvard Square (last time I was there) no longer allow props and will, in fact, pat you down, Homeland-Security style, to make sure you haven't smuggled any toilet paper or waterguns in with you (bugger them).

Now, excuse me, but I'm off to try to find Chuckie Gray's neck...

The op-ed piece by McCain that the New York Times rejected, in full...

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 12:41:00 +0000

Here, in full, is the op-ed piece on Iraq by Senator John McCain that the New York Times refused to publish.

-------

By Sen. John McCain

In January 2007, when General David Petraeus took command in Iraq, he called the situation “hard” but not “hopeless.” Today, 18 months later, violence has fallen by up to 80 percent to the lowest levels in four years, and Sunni and Shiite terrorists are reeling from a string of defeats. The situation now is full of hope, but considerable hard work remains to consolidate our fragile gains.

Progress has been due primarily to an increase in the number of troops and a change in their strategy. I was an early advocate of the surge at a time when it had few supporters in Washington. Senator Barack Obama was an equally vocal opponent. “I am not persuaded that 20,000 additional troops in Iraq is going to solve the sectarian violence there,” he said on January 10, 2007. “In fact, I think it will do the reverse.”

Now Senator Obama has been forced to acknowledge that “our troops have performed brilliantly in lowering the level of violence.” But he still denies that any political progress has resulted.

Perhaps he is unaware that the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad has recently certified that, as one news article put it, “Iraq has met all but three of 18 original benchmarks set by Congress last year to measure security, political and economic progress.” Even more heartening has been progress that’s not measured by the benchmarks. More than 90,000 Iraqis, many of them Sunnis who once fought against the government, have signed up as Sons of Iraq to fight against the terrorists. Nor do they measure Prime Minister Nouri al Maliki’s new-found willingness to crack down on Shiite extremists in Basra and Sadr City — actions that have done much to dispel suspicions of sectarianism.

The success of the surge has not changed Senator Obama’s determination to pull out all of our combat troops. All that has changed is his rationale. In a New York Times op-ed and a speech this week, he offered his “plan for Iraq” in advance of his first “fact finding” trip to that country in more than three years. It consisted of the same old proposal to pull all of our troops out within 16 months. In 2007 he wanted to withdraw because he thought the war was lost. If we had taken his advice, it would have been. Now he wants to withdraw because he thinks Iraqis no longer need our assistance.

To make this point, he mangles the evidence. He makes it sound as if Prime Minister Maliki has endorsed the Obama timetable, when all he has said is that he would like a plan for the eventual withdrawal of U.S. troops at some unspecified point in the future.

Senator Obama is also misleading on the Iraqi military’s readiness. The Iraqi Army will be equipped and trained by the middle of next year, but this does not, as Senator Obama suggests, mean that they will then be ready to secure their country without a good deal of help. The Iraqi Air Force, for one, still lags behind, and no modern army can operate without air cover. The Iraqis are also still learning how to conduct planning, logistics, command and control, communications, and other complicated functions needed to support frontline troops.

No one favors a permanent U.S. presence, as Senator Obama charges. A partial withdrawal has already occurred with the departure of five “surge” brigades, and more withdrawals can take place as the security situation improves. As we draw down in Iraq, we can beef up our presence on other battlefields, such as Afghanistan, without fear of leaving a failed state behind. I have said that I expect to welcome home most of our troops from Iraq by the end of my first term in office, in 2013.

But I have also said that any draw-downs must be based on a realistic assessment of conditions on the ground, not on an artificial timetable crafted for domestic political reasons. This is the crux of my disagreement with Senator Obama.

Senator Obama has said that he would consult our commanders on the ground and Iraqi leaders, but he did no such thing before releasing his “plan for Iraq.” Perhaps that’s because he doesn’t want to hear what they have to say. During the course of eight visits to Iraq, I have heard many times from our troops what Major General Jeffrey Hammond, commander of coalition forces in Baghdad, recently said: that leaving based on a timetable would be “very dangerous.”

The danger is that extremists supported by Al Qaeda and Iran could stage a comeback, as they have in the past when we’ve had too few troops in Iraq. Senator Obama seems to have learned nothing from recent history. I find it ironic that he is emulating the worst mistake of the Bush administration by waving the “Mission Accomplished” banner prematurely.

I am also dismayed that he never talks about winning the war — only of ending it. But if we don’t win the war, our enemies will. A triumph for the terrorists would be a disaster for us. That is something I will not allow to happen as president. Instead I will continue implementing a proven counterinsurgency strategy not only in Iraq but also in Afghanistan with the goal of creating stable, secure, self-sustaining democratic allies.

NY Times rejects McCain op-ed piece

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 12:34:00 +0000

This first popped up on the Drudge Report yesterday and was quickly picked up by ABC news and the other news outlets; the New York Times rejected an op-ed piece written by Senator John McCain, a week after running an op-ed by Barack Obama. Looks like the honeymoon betwen the "Maverick" and the media is over, eh?

Apparently the Times wanted a direct response to Obama's op-ped piece and just generally felt McCain's piece was not "up to snuff", so to speak.

Bob Novak says McCain Veep pick to come this week

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 00:22:00 +0000

Apparently trying to steal some of Barack Obama's thunder, sources are reporting that McCain's VP pick will come early this week, with Mitt Romney leading the pack in speculation.

Romney. McCain.

Blech.

And yet I'll still be voting for them. Oh, bugger it all.

Turn to Gerry Lange for your real estate needs, not Kip Lange

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 11:55:00 +0000

I'm still highly annoyed that some greying real-estate agent has taken top honors in the Google "Kip Lange" search race. So I thought I'd mention that while I'm not a real estate agent, my father, Gerald "Gerry" Lange (known to some as "Max", although I still have no idea where he got that nickname, he's rather coy about it) will take care of your real estate needs in the much-coveted Wellesley and Wellesley area (Natick, Weston, Wayland, and so on).

Go away, other Kip Langes. Just...go...away. Before I have to start shouting, "There can be only one!" whilst swinging around some sort of large head-decapitating sword and waiting for The Quickening.

Obama touches down in Afghanistan and kicks off the "Obamania Obamentum Terrorist Fist-Jab '08" Tour

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 11:51:00 +0000

Internationally acclaimed rockstar and -- I think -- presidential candidate Barack Obama touched down in Afghanistan early this morning, to kick off his overseas tour, where he plans to figure out why he took various positions on foreign policy before he actually went out there in the first place.

Obama is being accompanied by 300-some media lapdogs, including all the major network anchors.

Meanwhile, John McCain is considering a school shooting spree to get some media attention.

Man strips on Airplane; MLS team steps in to help

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 11:24:00 +0000

Here's a good one. A man on a Boston-LA flight (subsequently diverted) stripped naked and then put his clothes pack on with a little help from my hometown soccer team, the New England Revolution.

This is the first time I've actually paid attention to the New England Revolution and will probably be the last.

Show Me Your Genitals

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:45:00 +0000

I gotta say, I'm a huge Jon Lajoie fan. Hehe. This ain't his absolute best work, but it must be accorded accolades.

iPhone 2.0 1601, 1602, 1604 error help

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 17:53:00 +0000

Okay. I spent all day trying to upgrade the old iPhone to the new 2.0 firmware. Now...I uninstalled iTunes, reinstalled iTunes, it didn't make any difference. So here's a handy tip to save you time.

Unplug ALL USB devices except your iPhone. If you have a computer with a USB port in the front, use a USB port in the back.

As soon as I did this I was able to upgrade immediately.

Hope this helps.

PS3 Firmware 2.41 released

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 15:48:00 +0000

After the debacle with the 2.40 firmware, Sony is it at it again, and has released one of the more significant firmware updates for the PS3 to date. This is one of the ones you've been waiting for, as it features the long-promised in-game XMB (Cross-Media Bar).

Happy gaming!

Obama, McCain tied in the polls

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 15:12:00 +0000

Surprisingly, in the continuing competition between the old man and the rockstar, the old man is doing pretty damn well.

Rasmussen polls out today report that the race is all tied up at 43% apiece for the candidates, 46% with "leaners" included. This comes after about two months or so of Obama leading by around five points or so.

Perhaps there's hope for thoes of us in the GOP, after all. Now, if we could just get McCain to shut the hell up about the global warming bullshit...

Kip Lange, Kip Lange, Kip Lange, and then there was Kip Lange

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 12:15:00 +0000

Sorry for this, folks, but another Kip Lange has taken the top spot on Google searches when you plug in "Kip Lange". So I'm going to have to do a little bit of a sleazy post here to try to get my page ranking back up.

Kip Lange, Kip Lange, and more Kip Lange. Kip Lange is not Kip Lang but is often misten for Kip Lang and that's okay because the damn E is silent in the name.

Kip Lange naked, Kip Lange politics, Kip Lange news, Kip Lange biography, Kip Lange philosophy, Kip Lange pornography, Kip Lange sex, Kip Lange drugs, Kip Lange rock and roll.

Nearer my Kip Lange to thee; Kip Lange in California, Kip Lange in Wellesley, Mass., Kip Lange in his momma's basement, sitting on Kip Lange's ass.

I'm the real Kip Lange yes I'm the real Kip Lange will all the other Kip Langes please shut up and will the real Kip Lange please stand up, please stand up.

Yes indeedy, I am the Kip Lange of all Kip Langes and I don't like being knocked down a peg by another, grey-haired Kip Lange who does real estate. In fact, it annoys Mr. Kip Lange very mch that he's not the first Kip Lange you see when you Google "Kip Lange".

Okay, okay, Kip Lange will let up here and let you get back to business.

I told you. Kip Lange is shameless, Kip Lange wants hits, and Kip Lange wants to be the pre-eminent Kip Lange and the first Kip Lange you run into when you're searching for Kip Lange. Or Kip Lang. Or Christopher Lange.

Shameless. Kip Lange knows this bbt Kip Lange can't help but grin his Kip Lange grin as he writes this shameless plug for Kip Lange, Kip Lang, or whatever you'd like to call Kip Lange.

Okay. Kip Lange is done (and done with speaking in the third person about Kip Lange).

Sorry for wasting your time butI I really want that #1 ranking for "Kip Lange" on Google. Send forth the spiders!

The iPhone 3G lands

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 12:06:00 +0000

Well, the launch wasn't perfect, but the iPhone 3G is now on the market -- and in my hands.

That's right. I spent seven hours in line yesterday at the Chestnut Hill Mall to get the iPhone. I showed up at 8 AM; stupid me.

Part of the reason the lines are so long is because Apple is pretty much dead set on forcing you to activat the phone in the store. The official line is that people had been having problems doing it at home last time around; the unofficial, and real reason,is that they want to make sure that people don't take the iPhone home and jailbreak it.

In fact, barely hours after the launch, the new iPhone 3G software had already been cracked and jailbreaking was a possibility.

Certainly didn't take long, did it?

The new iPhone has a slighter slimmer physique and feels a bit better in the hand than the old one. Aside from that, it runs much faster, it has GPS capabilities, and pretty much everything on it has been made even simpler and more effective. I haven't had a lot of time to play with it; those seven hours in line wore me out pretty bad (and had I know it would take seven hours, no, I would not have waited in line for it yesterday.

But my initial take? Worth it, and definitely worth it at the new cheaper price(s) -- $200 for the 8 gig model, $300 for the 16 gig model.

Tony Snow passes away

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 12:00:00 +0000

Another good guy bites the wax tadpole. This morning, Tony Snow, former White House Press Secretary and FOX News fixture, lost his battle with colon cancer.

Snow had been diagnosed with cancer in 2005. He was 53 years olds, and, from all accounts, a very decent man. He will be missed.

Jesse, Obama, and Obama's nuts

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 11:31:00 +0000

Well, there you have it. We now know how Jesse Jackson feels about Barack Obama. He'd like to "cut his nuts" off.

The remark was made while Jackson was wired for sound for an interview on Fox. Why on Earth Jackson didn't realize his mic would pick up his whisper is beyond me.

You know what my take on this is? It's refreshing. It's refreshing to actually hear what people think when they don't think they're being monitored. Like Bush's "major league asshole" remark regarding Clymer from way back when.

Now, I can only begin to speculate what's behind Jesse's outburst. Apparently there's worse stuff on the tape, but they're not running it. I don't really know if I buy that or not, but I do buy that on some level, whatever he now says to the contrary, Jackson would indeed like to cut Obama's nuts off.

So let me begin to speculate. First, the issue that set it off is Obama's recent move to support Bush's faith-based initiatives programs. Jackson predicated the nut-chopping remark by saying that "Barack has been talking down to black people." Now, I really don't think that's fair, myself. I haven't seen any indications of Obama "talking down" to black people. But by supporting faith-based initiatives, he is talking down to Jesse Jackson. More faith-based iniatives leaves less and less of the spotlight for Jesse and Rainbow/PUSH.

Also, I think plain jealousy is at work here. Jackson wishes he could be the dynamic, one might say "legitimate", black man running for the White House. He's certainly tried (much to Bill Clinton's amusement, apparently, recalling past gaffes on the campaign trail).

If there's anything positive conservatives can take away from an Obama win in November, it would be that finally, fringe/whacko black "leaders" (read: extortion artists) like Jackson would finally be marginalized. They would have less to whip crows into frothing furies over. They'd have less spotlight.

But, folks, let's admit it -- this story, whether it has legs or not, is just plain fun for a lot of us.

And, for the record, although I disagree with Obama on many, many things, I do not want to chop his nuts off. Mr. Obama may keep his nuts.

Maybe that's it. Maybe Jackson is just envious of Obama's huge balls and wants to try to graft them on himself?

Obama and the magic flag lapel pin

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 21:59:00 +0000

It's not here! It's here! It's false patriotism! It's real patriotism! I support gun control! I don't support gun control! I support doubling the cap gains tax! I don't support doubling the cap gains tax!

And, of course, the false patriotism that I, Barack Obama, so derided to my liberal base as the basis for all those flag lapel pins -- well, now I'm wearing one, too!

Never in my life have I seen someone flip-flop so violently and so quickly. I don't even know if Obama knows what he stands for anymore. We do have his voting record, though -- the most liberal in the Senate. Which should give you a clue where his true sympathies lie, my fellow "bitter" Americans (but whatever you do, sayeth Obama, don't cling to your wallet when it comes to giving me money).

So now Obama tries to take the center, flip on the last issue -- Iraq (mark my words, it's coming, he will flip on his Iraq position after his visit there) -- and then it's a contest between the young, hip Obama and...that old guy over there.

Never mind that the old guy has more experience in his little finger that Obama has in a lifetime of wheeling and deal-cutting with the likes of Jeremiah Wright. Never mind that. He's hip. It's hip to like Obama. And we, as Americans, as the idiots we are, have a duty to elect people because we think they're "hip".

After all, the youth of America supports Obama overwhelmingly, and as we all know, kids are always right about this kind of stuff, aren't they?

Obama: Blowin' in the Wind

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 13:27:00 +0000

Charles Krauthammer has a great article out this week which ends by stating that the Clintons will look "scrupulous" next to Obama's sudden hard-changing ways.

And yes, it has begun, and the media has barely even picked it up. Opting out of public financing. Flip-flop on gun control (what happened to all those bitter people clinging to their guns?), and of course, another huge flip-flop on NAFTA, which was iminently predictable.

Okay, so you say he has to move to the center to capture centrist voters. Okay. I'll buy that. But you have to admit, Obama has changed a lot more of his promises in this campaign than McCain has. What does that say about his word as an American leader during, whether Obama likes it or not (but he's still "evolving" on this issue, too), wartime?

It's just politics as usual. Anyone who's bought into the cult of Obama ought to be ashamed of themselves. The man doesn't offer "true change" any more than McCain or any other single candidate throughout all the primaries has offered "true change". It may be hard for Obama fans to accept, but at the bottom line, Obama is a politician.

Right now he's a liberal one who'd like to move more to the right so he can capture whatever phantom undecided vote is still out there.

George Carlin passes away & the Seven Dirty Words

noreply@blogger.com (Kip Lange) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 14:06:00 +0000

George Carlin died today of heart failure at age 71.

In honor of the great man, here is the famous "Seven Dirty Words" routine posted for your enjoyment.

"I love words. I thank you for hearing my words. I want to tell you something about words that I uh, I think is important. I love..as I say, they're my work, they're my play, they're my passion. Words are all we have really.

We have thoughts, but thoughts are fluid. You know, [humming]. And, then we assign a word to a thought, [clicks tongue]. And we're stuck with that word for that thought. So be careful with words. I like to think, yeah, the same words that hurt can heal. It's a matter of how you pick them.

There are some people that aren't into all the words. There are some people who would have you not use certain words. Yeah, there are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven of them that you can't say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 to seven. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous, to be separated from a group that large. All of you over here, you seven. Bad words. That's what they told us they were, remember? 'That's a bad word.' 'Awwww.' There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad Intentions.

And words, you know the seven don't you? Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits, huh? Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that will infect your soul, curve your spine and keep the country from winning the war.

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits, wow. Tits doesn't even belong on the list, you know. It's such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname. 'Hey, Tits, come here. Tits, meet Toots, Toots, Tits, Tits, Toots.' It sounds like a snack doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is, right. But I don't mean the sexist snack, I mean, New Nabisco Tits. The new Cheese Tits, and Corn Tits and Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits Onion Tits, Tater Tits, Yeah. Betcha can't eat just one. That's true I usually switch off . But I mean that word does not belong on the list.

Actually, none of the words belong on the list, but you can understand why some of them are there. I am not completely insensitive to people's feelings. You know, I can dig why some of those words got on the list...like cocksucker and motherfucker. Those are...those are heavy-weight words. There's a lot going on there, man. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling. They're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend with. And those K's. Those are aggressive sounds, they jump out at you. CocksuckerMotherfuckerCocksucker. It's like an assault, on you. So I can dig that.

And we mentioned shit earlier, of course. Two of the other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go together of course. But forget about that. A little accidental humor there. Piss and Cunt. The reason Piss and Cunt are on the list is that a long time ago certain ladies said 'Those are the two I am not going to say. I don't mind Fuck and Shit, but P and C are out. P and C are out.' Which led to such stupid sentences as 'OK, you fuckers, I am going to tinkle now.'

And of course the word Fuck. The word Fuck, I don't really...well, this is some more accidental humor, but I don't really want to get into that now. Because I think it takes too long. But I do mean that. I mean, I think the word fuck is an important word. It's the beginning of life, and, yet it's a word we use to hurt one other, quite often. And uh, people much wiser than I have said, I'd rather have my son watch a film with two people making love than two people trying to kill one other. And I of course agree. I wish I know who said it first, and I agree with that. But I would like to take it a step further. I would like to substitute the word fuck, for the word kill in all those movie cliches we grew up with. 'Okay Sheriff, we're gonna fuck ya now. But we're gonna fuck ya slow.' So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' rap on that word. I hope so.

Uh, there are two-way words, but those are the seven you can never say on television. Under any circumstances you just can not say them ever, ever ever, not even clinically. You can not weave them in the panel with Doc and Ed and Johnny, I mean it's just impossible, forget those seven, they're out.

But, there are some two-way words. There are double-meaning words. Remember the ones your giggled at in sixth grade? 'And the cock crowed three times.''Hey, the cock the cock crowed three times. It's in the bible.' There are some Two-way words, like it's okay for Curt Gowdy [mis-spelled in original transcription. -ed.] to say 'Roberto Clemente has two balls on him.' But he can't say, 'I think he hurt his balls on that play Tony, don't you? He's holding them. He must have hurt them by God.' And the other two-way word that goes with that one is prick. It's okay if it happens to your finger. Yes, you can prick your finger, but don't finger your prick. No, no."

I'm gonna miss that lovable, curmudgeony old fuck. Badly. :-(