Paramount kicks Tom Cruise in the nuts, and I love them for it

Okay. You've probably heard this story: after fourteen years, Paramount has decided to sever all ties with Tom Cruise, citing his insane behavior off the set. Including, of course, his famous never-retracted bashing of Brooke Shields for taking anti-depressants (Scientology, Cruise's religion, doesn't let you take an aspirin).

In addition, some feel that the traditional "star power" in Hollywood may be waning a bit, which also warms the cockles of my heart.

But here's the real kicker. Right after dumping Cruise, Paramount turned to "South Park" creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker, who were involved in a rumble with Cruise and Scientology, and inked them to a two-picture (live action) movie deal.

They're not writing either movie, however, from what I've read. Parker will direct and Stone will produce.

The names of the two movies are My All-American, a comedy based around a high school, and Giant Monsters Attack Japan! which will use some good ol' "rubber suit" special effects.

Ahh, sometimes life is good.

De rigeur rant about idiots

Ah, the Internet. Home to so many deranged whackos and people who can't spell anything except "lol" correctly.

I made a mistake, man oh man, did I make a mistake. I was posting for a while on a very obscure board discussing...well, I can't tell you what, because the troll I'm seeking peace from might pop up on here and spam me with endless comments.

Let's just say the board was about widgets. And that I like widgets, and another fellow came along who didn't like widgets. The trolling began. The troll posted inflammatory messages about anybody who liked widgets that made no sense, with grammar so bad they actually singed my eyebrows.

I posted a warning message about the troll, just so other people wouldn't get drawn into fights with him. Next thing I know, I no longer really feel like posting at the board, because four people (who are probably all fifteen years old) bashed the ever-loving shit out of me.

Perhaps my favorite rant against me was that I had expressed support for the second amendment in a particular post, and how stupid was I to not think that people from all over the world were watching this tiny board? How dare I mention something from the evil American Constitution? The poster then went on to tell me I didn't respect the first amendment, which, of course, he had already made moot by saying we can't talk about amendments because we're in a global village and...

Oh man. I just had to get it off my chest. There were three or four other legit posters on that board out of a grand total of maybe nine, and they were interesting folk, but I just can't deal with threads that are interrupted by people who spell "courageous" as "courages". Hehehe.

Anyway...I should know the hell to stay away from most boards...I have been online for a few decades now.

I got made out to be a chump, though, and it wasn't pretty, and any post I make on there will just be fuel to pillory me.

Nah, this guy wasn't trolling.

;-)

Fantasy Football

First, in random news, I have reconnected the alternate Kip Lange (I wonder if he has a goatee) with his friends in Germany, so I feel good about that.

Now onto more important stuff. NS and I have registered two leagues at NFL.com and joined a third league, which is actually quite hard to do, considering there is the most unbelievable amount of niche-ness to these leagues ("This league only for firefighters missing a testicle!").

Anyway, it's done. We have live drafts on the 27th, the 5th, and the 6th. Hopefully I won't have to pee incredibly bad during them like I did last year.

Now, I could reveal my ultra-secret draft plans, but then they damn well wouldn't be ultra-secret, would they?

Anyway, I'm just looking to make it -- not win, necessarily -- to the championship game in one league, like I did last year (and then got vigorously spanked by my opponent).

First game of the season is on the 7th. And the Lord said, let the faggy soccer people go away, and let there be football, and let the Raiders fans be rowdy, and let us forget about the Denver-Patriots playoff game from last year and yea, it was good.

It ain't me, babe...

I recently received a comment that I'm not posting because it contains the sender's email. They're looking for a different Kip Lange than me. If you are the other Kip Lange (scary, there's more than one of us), then I received this message for you:

Hi Kip,

If you are the Kip Lange who stayed in Cologne at family Nehl about ten years ago, please let us know via e-mail so that we can send an e-mail to you.

So, if you're the other Kip Lange the email mentions, post a reply and I'll give you their email address in a safe, non-spiderable form, so you and they won't get spam from it. In fact, since I moderat all comments, you can leave your email address in a reply to this post, as the above people did for another post, and it will not get published, I swear to you, and I'll mail you with the address of these friendly folks who are looking for you.

By the way, Lord knows I wished I had stayed at Cologne at some point in my life.

Praise the Lord, football is returning

I thought it would never happen. I thought we'd actually have to spend time paying even an iota of attention on Landis and the Tour de France, or, worse, on soccer, which is simply, absolutely, the bottom rung of the entire sports ladder. What the hell, with soccer? I tried watching a game. At least in hockey, there are a lot of shots on goal, for Christ's sake! This was just dribbling back and forth across the center line for like five hours and then someone FINALLY shoots but...never mind, I don't have to entertain the nightmare that the unenlightened rest of the world creams over.

Because football is back. Oh, following the training camps has been fun, but tonight...oh yes, tonight there was a game. Okay, so it's a pre-season game and the starters were in for approximately fifteen seconds. But it's still a game! I'm almost ready to jump into the fantasy season, too. Been holding off on doing that with NS because we want to make sure we don't get a Javon Walker situation on our hands.

So, Euro-fag soccer-watching, Umbro-wearing jackasses -- thppppthhh. Football is back and football is possibly the most important thing on the planet.

Now I can spend the next week worrying over Tedy Bruschi's wrist.